With the clock ticking, the world has rushed to aid Australia, after the country’s top military scientists admitted they were struggling to locate a radioactive material they lost on a road trip in January.

US President Joe Biden said he was always losing stuff, so don’t worry about it.

The UK, one of the nine acknowledged nuclear powers, contacted Canberra within hours of the revelation to say, “Have you tried looking where you last remember having it?”

The International Atomic Energy Agency, which oversees the world’s stocks of radiological material, is co-ordinating the global response, flying in a top team of “advisors” to chip in from the sidelines, regardless of necessity.

France said, “Check your pockets again,” while China added, “You should look in the fridge. No kidding, this one time we found our car keys in the ice tray.”

Australia has thanked the global community for its advice saying, “It’ll turn up – probably in the last place we look. Winky emoji.”