We’ll Grab Marrow Secrets Via Grower’s Own DNA, Vow Scientists
Citing the need to discover the secret of giant marrows, the Ravengate Science Society has embarked on a major project to recover the DNA of recently deceased gardener Abel Pepper.
Vulture Nesting On Old McGrady’s House ‘Not Significant’
“No significance whatsoever” should be attached to the recent appearance of a vulture on the roof of Old Lady McGrady’s bungalow, says an ornithological expert.
Populist Insurgency Movement ‘WeCan’ Admits: We Can’t
Facing huge bills and growing apathy, Ravengate’s populist insurgency movement WeCan has disbanded, with organisers admitting, “We actually can’t.”
Startled Scientists Shocked To Discover Stegosaurus Evolved Into Murray ‘Minty’ Muirhead, 29
In a startling new discovery that could rewrite the natural history textbooks, scientists have revealed that the stegosaurus, believed extinct 150 million years ago, ultimately evolved into town resident Murray “Minty” Muirhead, a part-time guitar teacher....
Maths genius ‘finds new prime number’ between 3 and 11
Maths wonderkid Gary Fosdyke has shaken the normally sedate world of mathematics with his discovery of a new prime number “somewhere between 3 and 11”. The maverick numbers guru has been searching for the elusive prime for five years. He left Cambridge...