Facing huge bills and growing apathy, Ravengate’s populist insurgency movement WeCan has disbanded, with organisers admitting, “We actually can’t.”
Party boss Joss Freestone, 23, said, “Turns out wishing is not enough. There are laws and financial constraints and regulatory requirements enforced by statute. It’s crazy out there.”
The campaigning group gained momentum after the Spring Fayre when their optimistic messaging and bold policies captured the imagination of town’s residents, especially disaffected teenagers.
WeCan pledged to put up candidates in every town seat campaigning on a raft of popular pledges including a universal basic wage, three day weeks, social justice and free bagels.
In May, Mr Freestone had told a rally of cheering supporters, “There’s nothing we can’t achieve if we put our minds to it.”
Announcing the demise of the group some six months later, Mr Freestone said the party executive had hit some insurmountable obstacles that didn’t yield to simple optimism and positive affirmations, however often they were repeated into the bathroom mirror.
At a press conference, a chastened Mr Freestone was asked what went wrong. “Money for starters,” he said. ‘We can’t simply wish things into being. Someone has to pay for it. Our policy of zero council tax conflicted with our policy of free public transport. Stuff like that.”
Show me the money
The political group had faced court action from stationery suppliers and office rental companies after an A4 sheet of paper bearing the legend “We Can Pay” was discovered not to be legal tender.
The youth section of the populist group, called WeCan Too – with its logo of a chirpy toucan – also hit the buffers with Mr Freestone admitting that children across the town had faced the opposition of parents. “One girl told her dad, ‘We can’ only to be told ‘over my dead body, young lady’. A response, which, frankly, we hadn’t discussed in our policy forums,” admitted a rueful Freestone.
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However, the activist has not given up entirely on his political ambitions. He plans a new movement called WeMight which dials down the rhetoric and lowers expectations, offering only low-key and fully-funded pledges in its manifesto. The party’s logo – an asterisk – will be attached to every spending commitment.
Mr Freestone said, “These asterisks link to footnotes that outline the rigorous budgeting process required to realise any policy promise*.”
*Not a promise, an aspiration**.
**Not an aspiration, just something that would be nice to achieve someday, if that’s OK.