“No significance whatsoever” should be attached to the recent appearance of a vulture on the roof of Old Lady McGrady’s bungalow, says a leading ornithological expert.
Dr Paul Perkins, who works as a rewilding co-ordinator at Ravengate Zoo, said that the vulture “had to live somewhere” and the fact the carrion feeder had nested at the nonagenarian’s rundown two-bed on Beasant Street was just “a coincidence”.
Old Lady McGrady, 96, herself hobbled to the front gate to tell reporters she was in “fine fettle” despite a mysterious pain down her right side and blurred vision. She was “recovering well” from hip, heart and liver surgery and declared, “I have a good few years in me yet.”
The vulture – affectionately nicknamed Devil’s Claw by locals – had been seen circling a series of retirement properties for most of last week before settling on the McGrady homestead. The ruthless scavenger has built a nest adjacent to the chimney and laid three eggs which, according to Dr Perkins, signals that the mother bird is confident of a good food supply to feed the chicks.
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“But no-one should read anything into the bird’s decision-making process,” said Dr Perkins, who previously released a snow leopard into Ravengate’s SnowZone ‘N’ Fun Palace with mixed results. “We are experiencing a bitterly cold winter which will likely take its toll on all the animal population – sheep, weasels, rats.”
“You have to remember that vultures actually help the eco-system. They are nature’s cleaning crew, devouring meat that has rotted so much it poses a health hazard. Anyone who remembers what happened to Mr Collins last year will say that the vulture did us all a service. That threshing machine was never going to pick itself clean.”
Retreating from her front gate, the blue-lipped widow told reporters, “It’s nice to have the company, frankly. Chipper, my schnauzer, has been missing since Tuesday and my children have all but abandoned me. At least Devil’s Claw shows an interest, tapping on my windows at night to see if I’m still alive and well.”