by Charlie Biscuit | Mar 12, 2023 | Humour
Recalling his remarkable transformation, overweight actor Burden Brinks says his marathon make-up sessions for The Thin Man were “a huge ordeal”. “Worth it though,” the 68-year-old said, referencing his recent Oscar nomination. “The thin suit mechanics were crazy,”...
by Charlie Biscuit | Mar 9, 2023 | Humour
After an extensive investigation, town slacker Will Steerhunt has concluded that the loose tile in the kitchen can survive another year. “Yup,” he said, after pushing the tile lightly with a Bic biro. He reached his conclusion despite the intensive lobbying from wife...
by Charlie Biscuit | Mar 6, 2023 | Humour
A new encounter programme at the Zoo is introducing giraffes to their feet in an effort to break down barriers and years of prejudice. “They share the same space but live in two different worlds,” said head of inclusivity Jeremy Neesen. “It’s very hierarchical.” The...
by Charlie Biscuit | Mar 1, 2023 | Humour
On charges of theft, addled war hero Jeb Longacre told the Crown Court that he’d been confused his whole life, taking from shops and paying for free stuff. “Isn’t this how it works?” the befuddled 85-year-old asked the judge before sentence was handed down. The...
by Charlie Biscuit | Feb 20, 2023 | Humour
Supporters of the “15-minute city” movement aimed at changing the nature of the town have been left stunned by a rival proposal that that would undercut their goal by a whole minute. “We believe these lazy 15-minute swindlers lack the ambition to truly to...
by Charlie Biscuit | Feb 19, 2023 | Humour
Referencing at least a dozen complaints from a slew of international teams, organisers of the World Hide and Seek championships held this year in Tolgate have handed down a lifetime ban to Lucy the Honking Goose. “It’s gone far enough,” said a representative of the...
