by Charlie Biscuit | Mar 12, 2023 | Humour
Recalling his remarkable transformation, overweight actor Burden Brinks says his marathon make-up sessions for The Thin Man were “a huge ordeal”. “Totally worth it though,” the 68-year-old said, referencing his recent Oscar nomination. “The thin suit mechanics were...
by Charlie Biscuit | Mar 9, 2023 | Humour
After an extensive investigation, Ravengate slacker Will Steerhunt has concluded that the loose tile in the kitchen can survive another year. “Yup,” he said, after pushing the tile lightly with a Bic biro. He reached his conclusion despite the intensive lobbying from...
by Charlie Biscuit | Mar 6, 2023 | Humour
A new encounter programme at Ravengate Zoo is introducing giraffes to their feet in an effort to break down barriers and years of prejudice. “They share the same space but live in two different worlds,” said controversial head of inclusivity Jeremy Neesen. “It’s very...
by Charlie Biscuit | Mar 1, 2023 | Humour
On charges of theft, addled war hero Jeb Longacre told Ravengate Crown Court that he’d been confused his whole life, taking from shops and paying for free stuff. “Isn’t this how it works?” the befuddled 85-year-old asked the judge before sentence was handed down. The...
by Charlie Biscuit | Feb 21, 2023 | Humour
Burdened with regret, lonesome dad Ollie Dodson admits he was “probably lying” when made his young son a series of upbeat promises following the zombie apocalypse. Dodson, 36, who lives in the Delta Quadrant, which has been free of infection for three...
by Charlie Biscuit | Feb 20, 2023 | Humour
Supporters of the “15-minute city” movement aimed at changing the nature of Ravengate have been left stunned by a rival proposal that that would undercut their goal by a whole minute. “We believe these lazy 15-minute swindlers lack the ambition to truly to...
