After an extensive investigation, Ravengate slacker Will Steerhunt has concluded that the loose tile in the kitchen can survive another year.
“Yup,” he said, after pushing the tile lightly with a Bic biro.
He reached his conclusion despite the intensive lobbying from wife Sheila who had repeatedly insisted it presented a health hazard and “was ugly”.
Rejecting her appeal, the 38-year-old day trader cited his experience with the broken tile in the bathroom which held on for a decade before he had to lift a finger.
Shouting from the sofa where he was eating Doritos and watching the match, he said, if anything, sweetie, switching out the tile was more hazardous, as it could destabilise “a very delicate porcelain ecosystem”.
His friends, Big Pete – who “works in construction” – and “True Dat Terry” agreed, leading to the overwhelming 3-1 ruling against Sheila.