Supporters of the “15-minute city” movement have been left stunned by a rival proposal that that would undercut their goal by a whole minute.
“We believe these lazy 15-minute swindlers lack the ambition to truly to revolutionise city life,” said a balaclava clad spokesperson from a shadowy group calling itself the “14-Minute City Slickers” or 14MCS.
The original 15-minute city lobby is pressing for walkable urban landscapes where essential shops and services were sited close to homes, avoiding the need for cars.
(They long to be) close to you
In a grainy video posted to The Biscuit’s offices, the spokesman, draped in 14MCS colours, said, “What these 15-minute slugs are not telling you is that these services could be closer. We demand as a basic right, the 14-minute city.
“If we were to cut 60 seconds off a trip to the doctors, we calculate we could save upwards of a dozen lives a year in the Edgbaston area alone.”
Breaking news: Word has reached The Biscuit that the 14-Minute Plan itself is already under serious threat from a break-away faction – although it’s not at all clear what possible new proposals these rebels could present.