Referencing at least a dozen complaints from a slew of international teams, organisers of the World Hide and Seek championships have handed down a lifetime ban to Lucy the Honking Goose.
“It’s gone far enough,” said a representative of the Spanish team, one of the first complainants. “Lucy has a total disregard for the rules.”
Officials at a sporting tribunal in Lucerne, Switzerland, issued a summary verdict. “Lucy brought the game into disrepute,” said chair Gert Waldenstrom. “All that honking, giving her position away. It ruined the sport as a spectacle.”
“We screwed up,” admitted rueful Brit Jeffrey Glint, who had rushed through French-born Lucy’s UK citizenship papers to make her eligible for Team GB.
“She was a wildcard that didn’t pay off. We’ve learnt a valuable lesson.”